Hope Beyond

In response to the wonderfully written and drawn Hyperbole and a Half entry about depression: I have...

Thu, 09 May 2013 22:52:50 -0400

In response to the wonderfully written and drawn Hyperbole and a Half entry about depression:

I have never had depression. I cannot say I know what it feels like. I have maybe been right up to the edges of it, but I have not experienced it in the exact same entirely-hopeless way that it is described. Yet I am very grateful for her having written this in such an accessible way so that I can begin to understand it better for the people I know who have gone through it. And I know that I have probably said some of the things that make no sense: to “be strong”, to “look for the positives”, etc, because I have had many many other problems in my life - namely, a 10-year battle with childhood cancer - and those solutions have worked for me. But I realize that depression is a different problem, and while sometimes different problems can share a common answer, in this case, they do not. I want to apologize, first of all, to anyone I have done this to. I did have the best of intentions, but I can understand that it was not helpful.

Secondly, I now want to offer my help in any way that YOU think you might need. If you need someone to tell that you do not want to live anymore but do not want to burden someone else with that knowledge or freak them out: I am your person to tell. You can tell me straight-up - “I do not want to live” - and I would not freak out. I struggle daily with figuring out how to tell people serious issues without freaking them out. I can handle absolutely anything without flinching. Heck, I was told at the age of 12 that I had cancer and I did not cry or even blink. I asked the doctor, “What comes next?” That is what I would do for you too.

If you just need someone to BE there - to know that you exist - without having to worry about how to contort your face to fit with the social situation, I am your person. I have lost a large part of my hearing due to chemotherapy, and I have had to relearn how to interact with people; conversations, once the simplest thing in the world, can be terrifying and exhausting, because I have to work so hard just to understand what is being said and then react in the appropriate way, even if I have not completely followed the whole conversation. Did that end in a question? Is that supposed to be funny? Did I miss a punchline? Should I laugh now just in case? But what if it’s the opposite - what if I missed a sad line and laughing would be horribly wrong? Oh god how long has it been since they stopped talking, now they’re staring at me waiting for a response, can a noncommittal “mmhm” work here? Let’s try it…okay that seemed to work…oh god they’re still talking…

If you have a crazy story about how a tiny shriveled piece of corn had you in hysterics for no apparent reason and changed your life, and you want to share it but don’t want people staring at you like you’re crazy, I am your person. I have my own similar stories to share too if you want to hear them. Or not. I’ll just listen if that’s what you need.

If you don’t know what you need, the plain and simple truth is that I don’t know either. But I am willing to be there to help you as you go through these non-feelings of nothingness to maybe one day suddenly find something. The only thing I know for sure is that every day is a new one, and it brings with it a whole day’s worth of unpredictability. You can have a lot of them fade into each other, and then suddenly find that there are tears on your cheeks, and then suddenly find that corn is the most hilarious thing in the universe. You don’t have to be strong. You just have to be. And that isn’t always up to you.

That might seem depressing. I don’t know. I don’t see it as anything, really. I just see it as how it is.

"Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to..."

Tue, 07 May 2013 00:50:05 -0400

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

- Ernest Hemingway (via theonlymagicleftisart)

aunteeblazer: dickcraft: sleepy babies OmFG <3______<3

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:45:00 -0400

aunteeblazer:

dickcraft:

sleepy babies

OmFG <3______<3

Photo

Wed, 01 May 2013 23:27:08 -0400

the-thirdwheel: cat doesn’t want to get out of nice warm bath...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:03:54 -0400

the-thirdwheel:

cat doesn’t want to get out of nice warm bath [x]

sobbing because this is actually me

What to Do to Calm Down If You're Mad: A List by Hope and Jovi

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 01:51:55 -0400

cat videos

puppy videos

hedgehog videos

basically anything tiny with big eyes

(unless something tiny with big eyes is what made you mad)

loud music to sing along to

a really sharp pointy pencil and a clean sheet of paper, to be used strictly for doodles and sometimes words.

blankets

blanket forts

boxed macaroni and cheese

bubbles

bubble wrap

wrapping yourself in bubble wrap

candy - eating it, and arranging it by color and/or level of tastiness.

puzzles - like crosswords or sudoku - that require just enough thinking to keep yourself from thinking other things but not enough to be frustrating, and still be easy to solve so that you can feel accomplished

good movies

bad movies

so-bad-they’re-good movies

movies you’ve seen a billion times

reciting movie lines from heart without even watching the movie

talking with good people

making useless lists

making useful lists

making lists that might one day just end up being useful after all

unicornsarecooler: niamhtumbly: Stop trying to make fetch...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:19:01 -0400

unicornsarecooler:

niamhtumbly:

Stop trying to make fetch happen. Fetch is never going to happen.

I literally cannot stop laughing at that caption

coldasaslab: Julianne Moore as “Famous Works of Art” by Peter...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 18:27:57 -0400

coldasaslab:

Julianne Moore as “Famous Works of Art” by Peter Linderbergh - for Harper’s Bazaar

Seated Woman With Bent Knee by Egon Schiele, La Grande Odalisque by Ingres, Saint Praxidis by Vermeer, The Cripple by John Currin, Les danseuses by Edgar Degas, Madame X by John Singer, Girl with a Pearl Earring by Vermeer, Woman With a Fan by Modigliani, Man Crazy Nurse #3 by Richard Prince, Adele Bloch Bauer I by Gustav Klimt.

Holy fuck

devildoll: are you fucking kidding me

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:37:13 -0400

devildoll:

are you fucking kidding me

premiumgifs: [video]

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 15:52:01 -0400

premiumgifs:

[video]

wordplaying: sandandglass: Obama’s one-liners during his...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:07:42 -0400

wordplaying:

sandandglass:

Obama’s one-liners during his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

It’s like we’re trapped in a Taylor Swift album.

Nobody can love him more than me. Come at me.

onesarah: [Discussion about Lord of the Rings Books vs. Movie]“I can’t do les...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 01:58:26 -0400

onesarah: [Discussion about Lord of the Rings Books vs. Movie]“I can’t do les...:

onesarah:

[Discussion about Lord of the Rings Books vs. Movie]

“I can’t do les mis though, I went to see it in theaters and that was bad. There are just a lot of close-ups of people’s faces for too long and nothing else.”

“Les mis was awful”

“Just Russell Crowe’s face singing for 4 minutes straight.”

“I…

Somehow that conversation ended with Lauren making me this:

Photo

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 11:48:26 -0400

snowflakeanderson: #all you need to know about captain jack in...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:43:24 -0400

snowflakeanderson:

#all you need to know about captain jack in one gifset

Photo

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 02:58:59 -0400

Photo

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:06:27 -0400

buzzfeed: Man, cats sure are dumb sometimes.

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:55:48 -0400

buzzfeed:

Man, cats sure are dumb sometimes.

thebluthcompany: Netflix’s ‘Arrested Development’ Teaser...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:24:54 -0400

thebluthcompany:

Netflix’s ‘Arrested Development’ Teaser Posters

[via]

A Study in Pink: a Humorous Summary

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:28:07 -0400

SUDDENLY GUNS
Viewers: fuck where did that come from -
John: nightmares oh god
John:
John:
John: I fucking hate my life.
Therapist: Have you been writing in your therupatic diary like I told you to?
John: MY EYES AREN'T GLISTENING WITH THE GHOST OF MY PAST
Mike: hey gurl hey
John: shitit'sthatguydon'tmakeeyecontact
Mike: HEY GURL HEY
John: Ohhh hi didn't see you there -
Mike: LOL GURL SO HOW U BIN, HOW'S LIFE?
John: I'm thirty-five, single, unemployed, skint, and I've got anxiety problems of some description and a limp.
Mike: GURL THAT'S SO RAVEN
John: what
Mike: what
John:
Mike: let me hook you up, man
~MEANWHILE~
Sherlock: I love the smell of dead bodies in the morning
Molly: I love your face
Sherlock: Yes, thank you, I would like you to serve me some coffee, how thoughtful
Molly:
Molly: ok.
~UPSTAIRS~
John: What are these new fang-dangly things they didn't have them in my day
Mike: that's a computer, John
Sherlock: Mike give me your phone
Mike: Do you know how at wildlife parks and stuff they don't let you feed the animals partly so that the animals don't get reliant on being fed by humans and then stop foraging for their own food?
Sherlock:
John: use mine.
Mike: This is John Watson. havethesexwithhim.
John and Sherlock: what
Mike: what
Sherlock: -text it- Afghanistan or Iraq?
John: the fuck -
Sherlock: smoothly interrupting you to casually accept fangirl-made coffee
Sherlock: hey molly
Sherlock: thank you for offering to make me this delicious coffee
Sherlock: -sips- mnn, tangy
Sherlock: you look ugly without makeup
Molly:
Sherlock: bye
Molly: ok.
Sherlock: We should be flatmates
John: what
Sherlock: I'll meet you at the flat ok
John: what
Sherlock: Goodbye Mr Army Doctor from afghanistan
Sherlock: say hi to your alcoholic brother for me
Sherlock: nice psychosomatic limp you got there
John: WHAT
Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes, 221b Baker St, exit stage left
Mike: ain't he so raven
~LATER~
Sherlock: Check out the flat ain't it pretty don't you like it John, you must like it, I can clean up, look I'm cleaning up say you'll live with me say it
Mrs Hudson: You guys are such a cute couple
John: what, no
Lestrade: There's been a murder
Sherlock: HOORAY
Sherlock: come and see dead bodies with me, John
John: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT I THINK I LIKE IT
~CRIME SCENE~
Sally: freak
Sherlock: lol you're blowing one of the forensic team
Anderson: fuk u shercock u dick
Sherlock: i know you are i said you are but what am i
Body: pink
Sherlock: John what's your professional doctor's opinion.
John: ... yup she's dead.
Sherlock: DEDUCTING
John:
John: amazing brilliant fantastic
Sherlock: omg relyy
John: boy u mighty fine
Lestrade: I'm standing in the room still
Sherlock: lol you're all idiots I am the only one who sees the truth
Lestrade and John: what
Sherlock: laterz
~AND THEN~
Phones: ringing
security cameras: spinning
John: the fuck is this
Mycroft: hey gurl
John: the fuck are you
Mycroft: I am suggestively frightening and I'm sherlock's arch enemy, my name begins with M, can you guess who I am
John: modesty?
Mycroft: gurl I like you
Sherlock: URGENT URGENT COME HOME AT ONCE THERE IS AN URGENCY
~221B~
Sherlock: Pass me my phone.
John: you
John: you texted me to
Sherlock: and send a text please k thanks
John: Fuck you sideways, man
Sherlock: love you too
John: what
Sherlock:
Sherlock: come to dinner?
~ANGELO'S~
Angelo: you're such a cute gay couple
John: what, no
Angelo: So very cute and gay
John: no, sherlock, say something, tell him we're not gay
Angelo: I'll get some candles to set the mood to SEXY TIMES
John: NO DON'T GET CANDLES
Angelo: YOU'RE GAY
John: Why do I have an ominous feeling that this is going to happen again? Like reverse deja vu?
Sherlock: Keep an eye out for murderers 'kay
John: So er ... got a girlfriend? Or a ... boyfriend?
Sherlock:
Sherlock: uh ... John ... look, it's very flattering and all but I'm taken
John: no -
Sherlock: My work is a jealous lover
John: no - what? I don't even want to consider how a relationship with investigating dead bodies works - no, I wasn't - no - I'M NOT GAY!
Sherlock: right.
John: right.
Sherlock: okay then.
John: yes.
Sherlock: SUSPECT AT TWO O'CLOCK
~ROOFTOP CAR CHASE~
John: shit that was funny
Sherlock: I know right
Lestrade: DRUGS BUST PARTY AT 221B
Sherlock: THE FUCK IS GOING ON
John: wait drugs lol what
Sherlock: ~gaze~
John: ~gaze~
Lestrade: THERE ARE PEOPLE STANDING IN THIS ROOM
Sherlock: DEDUCTING
Mrs Hudson: TAXI
Lestrade: MOBILE
Everyone: NOISE
Sherlock: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS
Cabbie: come away with me, in the night
Sherlock: ok
~DRIVING~
Cabbie: CLEVER SHIT
Sherlock: BORING
Cabbie: pick a pill any pill
Sherlock: CLEVERER SHIT
Cabbie: pick a pill anyway
Sherlock: sounds like fun
Cabbie: SUCKER -
John: I SAVE YOU
Cabbie: /dead
Sherlock: that's so raven
~LATER~
Lestrade: tell me the things
Sherlock: look at my fucking ugly blanket
Lestrade: oh jesus
Sherlock: hai john
John: hai Sherlock
Sherlock: you saved me
John: for a minute there I thought my princess was in another castle
Sherlock: what
John: what
Mycroft: hey gurl
Sherlock: fuck off bro
John: why didn't you tell me he was your brother?
Sherlock: because he smells
Mycroft: you're so mean
Sherlock: lol John let's go get Chinese
John: ok
~BITCHIN SLOW WALK~
YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH

rotfuenf: A random ball pit is set up in the middle of a...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 17:01:09 -0400

rotfuenf:

A random ball pit is set up in the middle of a city
And this is what happens as people approach it.

The video is so precious and cute <3

This is SO sweet!! Please watch the video. <3

oops i cried.

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